Pain
by bgnaraharisetty
Summary: What if Tony committed suicide at Ziva's hand when she pointed her gun to his chest? What would be her feelings if she's captured by terrorists after that. AU as of Season 6 episode Aliyah. I don't own NCIS or its characters.


**AN: **I was watching an old movie in which the hero is killed at his lover's hand to keep her happy. It kinda jumped at me when I was watching the scene from Aliyah where Ziva accuses Tony of murdering Rivkin in cold blood. Just a little some thing I have written with that scene in mind. Hopefully, you'll like it.

I don't own NCIS or its characters.

* * *

Another terrorist, another nameless man, face obscured by thick beard and covered by a cloth walked into the room. He lied down on the naked woman tied to the bed and continued from where the previous man left, groping all over her body, pinching and biting every inch of her skin and finally raping her. After he finished, he asked the same question everyone asked after the rape.

"Are you ready to give up what we want?"

Ziva has stopped feeling the physical pain, long before she was taken captive and raped and tortured, long before she left Tel Aviv for this hell hole in Northern Africa. She stopped feeling physical pain the moment her heartache began. The heartache ignited by the spatter of Tony's blood on her face. Her Father trained her from a very young age to become almost immune to emotions. But Tony DiNozzo had evoked emotions she knew would cause trouble to her. He evoked jealousy, anger, sadness, and worst of all love by simply loving her.

She tried everything to make him not love her including having relationships with other men, hoping that it would push him away. She spectacularly failed at pushing him away and not falling in love with him. As a final and desperate attempt, even though she knew that Rivkin started a relationship with her under orders from her own Father, she maintained it. Tony figured out the true agenda behind the relationship and tried to warn her several times but she failed to listen to him. Finally, in an attempt to protect her, Tony took on a Mossad assassin by himself and had taken him down.

Every time she's raped or tortured, she could only think the pain she caused to Tony, the only man who loved her unconditionally and died thinking she hated him. She hoped she saw through her Father's plans and avoided the whole mess. But she did see through her Father's plans and still played along and when the love of her life tried to save her, she accused him of being a murderer and pretty much told him that she hated him with every particle of her being. There isn't a moment when she doesn't replay the last conversation with him, trying to see anything she should've done differently.

_Tony: I had no choice_

_Ziva: That's a lie._

_Tony: Why would I lie to you, Ziva?_

_Ziva: To save your worthless Ass_

_Tony: From who?... Vance?... Mossad?_

_Ziva: You jeopardized your entire career and for what?_

_Tony: For you…He was playing you, Ziva._

_Ziva: For some reason, you felt it was your job to protect me?_

_Tony: I did what I had to do._

_Ziva: You killed him._

_Tony: If I hadn't, you'd be having this conversation with him. Maybe that's the way you'd prefer it._

_Ziva: Perhaps I would!_

_Tony: Why don't you just get this out…you want to take a punch, take a swing? Get it out of your system! Go ahead, do it!_

_Ziva: Be careful, Tony, because, much like Michael, I only need one._

_Tony: And that's what you're really angry about, isn't it. That's what's bothering you. It's not that he's dead. It's that your Mossad boyfriend got his ass kicked by a chump like me._

_Ziva: You took advantage of him._

_Tony: He attacked me. What was I supposed…_

_Ziva tripped Tony and threw him to the ground. Tony's expression was pinched with pain for just a split second before he schooled his features. Ziva straddled him and continued talking._

_Ziva: You saw a glass table, you pushed him back, you dropped him on it. He was impaled in the side by a shard of glass… bloody, gasping for air!_

_Tony: I guess you read my report._

_Ziva pulled her weapon and stuck it against Tony's chest._

_Ziva: I memorized it! You could have left it at that! You could've walked away! But no, you let him up! You put a bullet in his chest!_

_Tony: You weren't there._

_Ziva: You could've put one in his leg!_

_Tony: You… weren't… there._

_Ziva: But I should've been!_

_Ziva returned the weapon to his chest pressing it in harder than necessary on his heart._

_Tony: You loved him._

_In the psychological state she was in, Ziva failed to notice that Tony's fingers curled around her weapon with his thumb on the trigger._

_Ziva: I guess I'll never know._

_Tony: I need you to know I would trade places with Rivkin in a heartbeat if it keeps you happy._

_He gave her the infamous DiNozzo grin. The next thing she heard was the gunshot. She felt the blood spatter on her face and before she could recover from the shock, Tony was gone. She stopped talking from that very second. She was in a shock when Gibbs, Eli, and Vance tried to get her to talk. When she didn't respond to anyone for three days, Gibbs told her straight to her face he cannot trust her anymore, not after she was responsible for Tony's death and left Israel with Tony's body. Vance stayed back for a few more days, trying to get some response from her and finally he too gave up._

Ziva curled up on her bed for a few days, mourning the biggest loss of her life when she was ordered to take on the terrorist cell. Partnered with trigger happy Kidon members, and sinking the Damocles, she was left alone by the time they reach the coast. With no one to watch her back, Ziva was captured by the terrorists. They tried to break her in every way possible but they didn't realize that she was already broken psychologically. There is nothing left inside her to break. The terrorists may break every bone in her body but the physical pain they are generating out of her is nothing compared to the heartache and anguish she had been living with since Tony died.

Every punch, every slap, every kick, and every time another man enters her, she doesn't feel anything. Finally one day her body couldn't cope with the physical stress and stopped functioning. It was a full day before the terrorists discovered that she died. They sent the body to Mossad, as a gift to its Director.

When the Director saw the body, he instinctively knew that his daughter never resisted the torture or the rapes. The terrorists didn't break her but he did by playing with her heart and she paid a hell of a price for it.


End file.
